10 Ways you can host an accessible Thanksgiving for individuals on the spectrum 🦃
*Originally posted September 29, 2021
Note: This post was written by our Marketing Manager with the supervision of a Registered Behaviour Analyst.
Individuals with autism/autistic guests can feel more comfortable in familiar places with familiar people and calming routines. Thanksgiving, especially one at an unfamiliar place, can be overwhelming. If you’re hosting someone on the spectrum a little planning can help make that person feel welcome.
If they’d benefit from some extra preparation here are some ways as a host we can show your guests and their families some love this Thanksgiving.
Meet their individual needs.
Start by asking the individual or their caregiver if they have any specific needs you can be prepared for. Let’s not assume they need anything special but if they do you can be prepared.
Don’t get caught up on the timeline.
It may help your guest to arrive early and get comfortable with your space before other guests arrive. It could be better for them to arrive later. Don’t take it personal.
Not everyone needs a big greeting.
Before you start offering hugs, find out if that’s okay. No one should feel pressured to hug or high five if they don’t want to. Some people like a big greeting, but some don’t. If you’re not sure they want a big hello, keep it chill; they will appreciate that way more.
Let go of the social expectations.
Let them settle into the experience without pressuring them to chat or answer all kinds of questions. If they aren’t engaging don’t push it. If they don’t make eye contact don’t worry. When people are comfortable they engage in whatever way they can.
Offer them a preview.
If food is served buffet-style let them check it out beforehand so they can test food in a calmer environment. Maybe some tastes, textures or smells will be off-putting so have some safe foods available.
Plan your meal with them in mind.
Ask what they like to eat and what they don’t. If it helps make the day more joyful for them, prepare some foods you know they like and they will eat.
Create a safe space.
Make a space like a room or area of your house that they can escape to if the noise and activity get to be too much for them. Make it known that it’s just for them and no one else so they really have a space to feel safe.
Encourage their caregiver to bring what they need.
If they need to listen to music or get engrossed in the iPad for a while that’s okay. If you want to go the extra mile, have some noise-cancelling headphones or sensory items like fidget spinners handy. Make them available to everyone. You’d be surprised how many people like a sensory experience.
Be respectful and compassionate.
Meltdowns may happen. So if they do, stay calm and let their caregivers handle it. They are the pros. Disgregulation isn’t bad behaviour, it’s often a sign someone is overwhelmed with all the activity, expectations and sensory information.
We all parent differently.
Other children may not understand why one of their peers is allowed to eat a different meal or watch the iPad. That can be challenging for their parents. If you or your guests' kids have different rules that’s okay, just don’t expect the autism parents to meet everyone else’s needs. Maybe shift your boundaries for a day; it will be okay.
Your efforts to accommodate someone with unique needs really show you care. It can mean all the difference for an individual and their family. Remember, they are trying, every day, to meet the demands of others. Making Thanksgiving accessible to them is a small gesture but one well worth the effort.